To start with, I would like to post a few simple questions here - do our belief and behaviour match at all times? Do we practice what we say we believe? Are we able to translate the biblical principles into actions? For instance, are we able to practically love our neighbour when we say we love them?
Integrity is where one's belief and behaviour match. We can't believe or say one thing and behave in a different way. In the contrary, we often struggle in this area. So when and how do things go wrong? Why do we often make those compromises in order to suit our conveniences?
In Indian context, to handle/ counter tantrums in children, it's okay for a parent(s) to say things that aren't necessarily true. This is probably how a child learns to lie or manipulate because children are good observers, and they learn things quickly. Here is another global perspective on lying. According to a 'developmental model of lying' first proposed by Victoria Talwar and Kang Lee (American Psychological Association, 2017), children around the age of two to three years begin by telling primary lies, around the age of four, children learn to tell secondary lies, by age seven or eight, children learn to tell tertiary lies. So little compromises like these at an earlier stage of a human life can have significant consequences at a later stage. And lying is just one issue out of the many we all struggle with that take us far from leading a life of integrity. How about waiting for a green signal in the middle of the night when there is hardly any vehicles at the traffic signal? How about refusing to bribe someone in return for a favour? How about treating your spouse or friend or your child respectfully at home though no one is watching you? How about supporting a poor family financially, without letting others know? How about being transparent and appropriate in handling/ spending cash at work or in church context?
We can’t just blame the fallen world or the original sin to justify this reality. God has blessed us all with wisdom to reverse or mitigate stuff that aren’t healthy in our lives, hence we ought to take responsibility over how we allow our future to pan out. In most cases our actions are affected by the circumstances or the people we are surrounded with. We have this compelling pressure in us which dictates us to say things in certain way or behave in a certain way. We also must remember that we shouldn't allow our external circumstances (that aren't in alignment with our belief) to behave in a different way to what we believe. This is when we must trust our beliefs and ground ourselves in the principles from the teachings of Jesus.
We learn some good lessons on integrity from the life of Ezra. In Ezra 7:10 we read "For Ezra had set his heart to study the Law of the Lord, and to do it and to teach his statutes and rules in Israel." There are three key aspects of faith we get to learn from Ezra: studying (not just hearing or reading) the word, doing (not just studying) what it says (action) and teaching (not just doing) others. Ezra's behaviours were strongly rooted in his faith and belief. He was not only seen as a well respected figure in judaism, but was known for his ability to lead a group of Judean exiles living in Babylon to their home city of Jerusalem. You and I have a greater responsibility to guide and support each other in a positive and in a constructive way.
Behaviours are formed of character; character is formed of habits; habits are formed of values; and values are formed of beliefs. Our beliefs play a vital in human formation. More dinner time discussions should focus on belief system. Recently, Indian Prime Minister carried out an over-night surgical attack on the black economy. Demonetisation was the weapon that was used. One year into the process, the whole nation knows that the outcome was not satisfactory. My take on this is very simple. Change cannot happen over-night. It is a long process, sometimes a life-long process. Educating younger generation on ethics is the only way forward to bring about the change since the rule-breakers will always find alternatives though we might bring in stringent rules and regulations. We have a two and a half year old son, we try our best to constantly inject our beliefs. We try not to give him false hopes, we try not to lie to him, we don’t entertain him when he uses unpleasant expressions or words, we encourage him to share his chocolates and toys with other kids. We are now thinking to buy him a fish bowl so that he can take care of the fish by feeding it regularly and thereby begin to exercise kindness not just towards humans, but also nature. As we sincerely nurture him with beliefs and values, we hope that he will strive to live out his belief system as he grows. Integrity cannot be forced. It has to be cultivated. Though sometimes we hesitate to come out of our comfort zones and make ethical choices, it is extremely important that we give some introspection in this whole area of integrity. Every single choice that we make, has an influence on the situation that will emerge. The pain and the suffering we see in this world (in most cases) are the result of poor choices the humans have made/ are making constantly.
Won’t it be awesome if we can leave behind our life of integrity as a legacy? Won’t it be great if others can look up to us and see you as a good role model in their lives? Leading a life of integrity not only makes you a better person, but makes the world a better place. Every good choice you and I make is an opportunity for the world to experience one new step towards transformation.
Applications for life:
1. Take little steps of faith in a practical way, towards change.
2. Have an accountability partner with whom you can be vulnerable.
3. Let moral principles help you make those choices that are ethical and Christ-centric.
4. Depend on your in-built belief system at times of unrest – don’t allow the external circumstances or people to influence your behaviour.
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