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The existence of a healthy attachment bond to a caregiver is vital to the development of babies and toddlers. The attachment bond between a mother and her child first forms in the womb. In the womb, fetuses develop preferential responses to maternal scents and sounds that persist after birth. However, attachment bonds or relationships are not limited to mother and child. Anyone who has a considerable opportunity to influence a child by meeting their needs regularly (physical, emotional, or social) can become an attachment figure. A caregiver, a nanny at an orphanage, alt. lpre-school teacher, or a close relative, can all be examples of an attachment figure. 

A child may have several attachment bonds right from day one. These attachment bonds contribute to the development of the baby. However, an attachment bond doesn’t necessarily mean a healthy or secure bond. In fact, in many cases, research shows that babies don’t get secure attachment relationships.

Positive Effects of an Attachment Relationship

Relationships are the heart of our humanity. We (and babies) are neurobiologically designed to be in relationships, to be able to read and respond to other people and to reach out and seek relationships from others. When we can have those opportunities, we are healthy. If we don’t, we are neurobiologically at risk.

If the parent or caregiver is sensitive to the child’s inner state, that can lead to a child whose brain is integrated and is coherent. What the body and brain want for the best development are relationships. Most neurons in the brain optimally develop through loving relationships.

Early childhood trauma negatively changes the biology of the brain, but early childhood support impacts the biology of the brain, too, in a much more positive and healing way.

One Secure Attachment Relationship is All it Takes

The most pivotal experience in a child’s early life is that a mother or caregiver and the child have a falling-in-love experience. This experience develops the capacity to love, care, and empathize with other human beings and have a moral conscience. This experience forms the basis of the secure attachment. In other words, the basis of the secure attachment relationship is genuine love. It’s not a set of rules or protocols to follow; instead, it’s establishing a safe, loving relationship with the baby.

Just one secure attachment with a caregiver can make a big difference. Babies and toddlers require somebody they can trust to keep them safe and reliably meet their physical and emotional needs. It is crucial to have a secure attachment bond where the baby feels another individual knows them, understands them, and feels what’s going inside of them. Connection to other human beings – who are present, patient, kind, and sensitive can be incredibly therapeutic and healing.

Note: A blog post originally written for Saving Moses.